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Critically Disclaimed.

June 28, 2011

I had my PR guy write my bio for my music page. I fired him this morning.

mountbrendon got started from the metropolis called Wyoming, where the culture is strong and the people even stronger.

“It’s a big influence in my work,” mountbrendon told Relevant magazine in an interview. “Wyoming is harsh, particularly in the winter. No one likes driving through it. I hope that my music reflects that.” Upon the release of his debut EP titled “Ribbons and Bows” mountbrendon is finding it difficult to cope with life as a musician. Sometimes he finds himself walking across campus at the University of Wyoming where he attends school and notices the stares of nonrecognition.

“Is it because I dress like a weirdo,” mountbrendon said. “Or is it because I don’t stand out in any other way?” Either way, mountbrendon’s lack of stardom is a testament to his relentless ability to never practice his guitar.

“He’s not a very good guitar player,” Rolling Stone magazine said in a review of his highly disclaimed EP. “It sounds like he only knows four chords.”

“It depends on how you spell cords,” Brendon Mount, his publicity agent stated in response. “If it’s the kind with an “h” then yes, he probably only knows four.”

“I can only play six,” mountbrendon said. “But I do have the knowledge of seven”

Another review featured on states, “It is extremely evident that mountbrendon doesn’t know the first thing about singing, or songwriting. Why he decided to try and combine the two is only a testament to his ignorance.”

“It’s very flattering,” mountbrendon said in reference to the poor reviews he has received since the release of his very unprofessionally recorded and non-widely heard  EP. “I really put no serious effort into my material, so to receive such low ratings is really encouraging.”

As he continues to fail to improve, let one thing always hold truth: mountbrendon will absolutely not ever find a welcoming home in the music industry. And he most definitely prefers it that way.

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